My sister and her husband are building a new home and I offered to do a painting for them.  She is keen on abstracts so with that in mind I began browsing through various magazines and art books allowing myself to do some research and see if anything sparked an interest.  After some time, some shapes in one image caught my eye and I started to just play with them.  Not experienced in abstracts, I welcomed some gentle guidance from my teacher on how I could work up the image and using pastels began to play with colours.  Perfect.  Just what I needed.  Whether this would ultimately end up the painting for my sister, for now I just wanted to experience the process.

 A week later  I returned to class, this time with canvas, paints and renewed energy and enthusiasm to take my mock up and transform it onto canvas.  I had already prepared the surface by building it up with impasto.  And so began my “Difficult pleasure” as Brett Whiteley had once described painting, or creating art.  Moving into the abstract area was challenging me and yet at the same time, it was great fun.  All the more so given my recent work in portraits and the precision required there.  While the painting still needed to work, to have balance and all the elements required of a good painting, there was also quite a lot of freedom particularly in the process of rendering this painting.  To see the outcome of my ”difficult pleasure” or “abstract fun” visit my new Abstract gallery and “Sea Bed”.  This is what flowed from a day that began with some old fashioned doodling.

We had hired a 4wheel drive and camper trailer and also spent some time visiting the Pilbara Region.  Again the colours of the countryside were spectacular.  Art Spectrum’s Pilbara Red so aptly named and reflected in the gorges.  We loved visiting Karinjini National Park and spending time exploring Dales Gorge and Weano Gorge, and swimming in the waterholes.  Our favourite spot was Hammersley Gorge, just spectacular. 

I had taken my sketch book away with me however I was too immersed in my holiday to put pen to paper, so with camera swung over my shoulder it was time for a break and to just be present to and enjoy the surroundings.

Back in Sydney and to my portrait classes, I was concerned how I would go drawing again and yet at the end of my first class back I was pleased with my work.  It seems the break was good for me, and so I feel refreshed and filled with enthusiasm again.

But I am missing my painting.  I have been missing the colour and the canvas.  So inspired by a recent visit to Nicholas Harding’s exhibition at the SH Ervine Gallery, I got out my palette knife and some beautiful colours and, with the joy of much greater freedom, did a couple of floral works (now in my gallery).  I love the way the colour mixes undercover of the knife’s blade, and which seems more like a wand as you wave it across the canvas, never precisely sure how it will translate.  I love the way each swipe is uniquely recorded and never to be repeated, a spontaneous creation.

So I am dancing between.

I have been enjoying the healing power of painting and my latest “trunks” captures this all for me.  I had begun this project just prior to going into hospital in December and had prepared the canvasses with impasto.  On my return post-op they sat and looked at me, ghost gums, until I began to feel my strength returning and until one day I just knew that I needed to begin their painting and that in the process it would help my recovery.  So although feeling somewhat fragile and tender, I stood before this triptych and began to wash in some colours and as the turpsy mix dribbled and seeped its way into and down the canvas trunks, I could feel the blood running back into my veins.  Beautiful burnt sienna, permanent crimson, french ultramarine blue all of these transforming the ghost gums in front of my eyes and at the same time working their healing powers on me.  Away for the Christmas period, it was not until 1 January I was able to return to my trunks and to working into the colours, deepening their strength and richness, again enhancing on previous trunks in the series.  Pure joy!

The other delight on January 3 was to deliver a “surprise” portrait gift to my friend/lecturer/coach, Donna.  We met for breakfast at the Pavilion, Balmoral Beach, with her son and in this exquisite surrounding, I presented her with her gift.  I had said that I wanted to do so “face to face” unbeknown to her so I could see her face (when she saw hers!).  After the initial shock, she was then overwhelmed and I was able to share with her the story of “Donna”.  To my surprise and delight, Donna modestly said “it was better than real life” which was encouraging for me as my new portrait teacher had said that this was the first “rule” for portraiture.  And her son has given his stamp of approval…”Mum it really does look like you”.

I could either fight my surrounds or succumb to them, and with so little energy I opted for the latter.  I was curious to see my world from a different view.  A lounge newly positioned facing our dining room wall allowed me to lie down in comfort and ponder the scene in front of me.  And in this case there were many.   Fortunately I have a number of completed canvasses  of varying moods, colours, and images and just before entering hospital I had changed all the paintings on this wall.  It was now filled with beautiful trees: triptychs, gentle, ethereal highland gums and rich golden gums.  I could now rest in their comforting energy and draw strength, at the same time observing where I had achieved what I had set out to do in each painting.   There were also a couple of portraits of dear friends smiling at me and reminding me of their friendship.

So while grounded by the specialist, it has been a time for reflection and dreaming.  Reflecting on the efforts over the past year and dreaming of new projects for the coming, at the same time with my body reminding me very much of the present.  I have been noticing and enjoying the difference a painting can make to a room, to a soul for had those paintings not been there, the wall would have left me quite deplete rising up blandly and abruptly in front of me, however with the highland gums, haunting beauty and others a sense of perspective, of distance and depth has stretched out before me.  

And it reminded me of a beautiful piece written by Leonardo Da Vinci, which I often think of around this time of year…

“Every now and then go away,

have a little relaxation,

for when you come back to your work

your judgement will be surer;

since to remain constantly at work

will cause you to lose power of judgement.

Go some distance away

 because the work appears smaller

and more of it can be taken in at a glance,

and a lack of harmony or proportion

is more readily seen.” 

I recognise the “controller” within me has been active, the part of me who likes to have things sorted, planned and mapped out, that wants to know.  Because without knowing, it’s pretty scarey and all the ‘what ifs’ arise. 

Yet despite the despondency, I keep moving, keep following my heart and trusting.  Whether I have a theme or not, and whether it’s right or not, I keep painting.  And in fact I haven’t stopped.  I know the day after the exhibition closing, there was a real sense of needing to get ‘back on the horse’ and I have done, and everyday since.  And what I am learning is not only about painting but about trusting things to work out.  Having a sense of direction but allowing for things to unfold.  Like a request that I have put out there in search of a portrait teacher to develop my skills.  And there is a theme emerging, as there have been others in the past. At this point the theme seems to be individuals in the landscape.  Yet guided by my heart to begin another series of trunks, today has been spent sculpting in the bark with some impasto and loving every moment of it.

Where to from here?  Trusting, allowing, and growing, one painting at a time.

So I took my current project along to class and I couldn’t help but find the experience humbling.  Pleasantly so.  With humility is the opportunity for real learning to occur and I sensed the wonder, the open curiousity and joy of being a child again and learning something new.  In being vulnerable, in saying “I don’t know, I’m not sure what to do here” and being open to guidance, to then be able to absorb on so many levels so many new insights.  Choice of brush, use of medium, the type of strokes, to loosen up and, in this specific instance, how to capture and portray the fluidity of hair.   (It helps to have a wise teacher though, who nurtures and encourages that childlike curiousity, particularly for an adult to drop into that state).

With the exhibition recently launched and lots of build up to the event, then all the hype with the opening and enthusiasm for my work, I could see how easy it would be to get caught up in that and forget my roots.  Forget the foundations and the fundamentals that there is always still plenty to learn.  The ego in its glory could easily have got in the way of real progress.  And curiously in my openness to learn and willingness to lay down my brushes and be guided by an experienced teacher, another joined with humility to also learn.

So with my new knowledge, no better way to learn was to put it into actual experience so both portraits are now being worked on.  Each with their own unique challenges.   My next development goal: to improve my blending of skin tones.  And with humility and love, I know that it will happen.

Her words lingered with me today and, as I reflected on these last few months as I have stepped further out into the world of art and as an artist, I realised the truth of her words.  You do have to back yourself.  Investing time, money and effort in creating this beautiful website, joining with fellow emerging artists to launch our first major show, was all about “backing myself”.  And since then, the universe has responded accordingly.

I am reminded of the quote by W. H. Murray from the Scottish Himalayan Expedition (1951):

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too.

A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way.  I learned a deep respect for one of Goethe’s couplets:

    Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.
    Boldness has genius, power and magic in it!”

Just as Murray predicted, I realise today that since “backing myself” a whole series of connections, events and meetings have occurred that would not have happened otherwise.  I also realise how interconnected our lives are and how for real progress to occur, it cannot be done alone. 

Curiously, about 5 years ago now in response to an inner urge, I painted Goethe’s couplet in large print on my bedroom wall so I wake to this inspiration each morning.  And that woman was absolutely right, “even if your confidence is a little knocked, you do have to back yourself”.

A very special thank you to all those who were able to make it along on Saturday evening for the official opening of our “Affinity” Exhibition.  Thanks also for the many well wishes sent through to me on the day.

The evening was a resounding success with over 300 guests attending on a superb Sydney evening.  Visitors came from as far away as Brisbane and Canberra, and for Sydney, even crossing two bridges to be there to support and witness a milestone evening for all 5 artists involved.

This was the first time each artist, including myself, had been able to showcase a significant body of work so a major event for us all.  It was also wonderful that our first major exhibition was being held at Artfocus Gallery, having all met through painting or being associated with the gallery and studio.  My special thanks to Lyn Hammond and Anne Bourne (owners of the gallery) and the team including Carly and Rick at AFG, for their wonderful support and encouragement.  I could think of no other place I would rather launch.  Unlike most gallery owners, Lyn and Anne are both professional artists as well and know intimately what it means to an artist to put themselves out there, and what it involves to create a body of work for such an exhibition. 

All artists sold works on the night and I was absolutely delighted to discover a colleague of mine had purchased a number of my pieces.  It is such a heartwarming experience to connect with another through your art.  For me personally, where it is possible, to know and meet who is buying my work means a lot to me.   Pictured with me in front of his new triptych is Ian Wamijo, my lovely new collector.  I am not sure who is happier, and maybe that is it, the feeling is mutual and that is the very special connection.  I hope always to feel this way when one of my paintings goes to another, and that they should feel similarly about my work.  I am delighted to have a couple of other collectors interested in the series of “Trunks” so commissions have been mentioned.  “Morning in the Saddle” is being considered for a corporate reception area so that is very exciting.

All in all, it was a great night and one that I will remember for many years to come.  However the day itself was not without some qualms and if you would like to read about that, please visit my website and “Artist Diary” for an insight into this artist and her journey with the lead up.

The exhibition runs until Thursday, 26 November, so if you do get a chance to pop into the Gallery and have a look, then call in and see Lyn and Anne.  Artfocus Gallery and Studio is at 1 Powells Road, Brookvale and opening hours are Mon-Fri 10am – 4pm and Sat 10am – 2 pm.

It is very exciting to be “officially” launched and stay tuned for the next update!  Also, feel free to visit my artist diary from time to time to check out what projects are underway and my journey with them.

Again, many thanks for your support.

Best wishes, Marion

To see so many people come along to celebrate this milestone for all of us and with sales happening, commissions being discussed, it was very exciting. 

The day itself was another story though…  After a morning spent at the gallery finalising the preparations for the evening’s opening, it was home for some quiet time and gathering of self in preparation.  Yet for me, this was no quiet time.  I needed to prepare a speech to open the evening and I was unable to relax.  I felt like I was being squeezed and  I got a real sense of being birthed.  A train of events had been set in place for some time now and the moment was nearing, quickly.   I was in the birthing canal, the contractions had started and come what may at 6.00 pm I was going to arrive.  There was no turning back, try as I might,  and I was coming feet first! 

And my saving grace, to paint.  Domestics were not “doing it for me” and yet I knew that if I just got out my paints and painted for a while, it would make the difference.  And so that is exactly what I did.  It was so easy for me to get caught up in all the hype of the lead up and the ‘what ifs’ that go through your mind, however I knew that if I just sat down and painted it would transform my being.  And it did.  I had recently commenced painting a portrait of a beautiful friend, with a gentle soul and so it was wonderful to sit “with her” and to paint her hair.   That portrait will always have a special place in my heart, for it was like sitting with a silent friend as a witness and presence in my moment of truth.

And while I sat there painting two of my closest friends arrived from Canberra.  They had driven to Sydney especially for the evening to offer their support and witness my ”birth”.  It was then time to get ready,  so transforming from behind my black painter’s apron to my little black dress, it was off to what turned out be a wonderful evening and memorable event in my life.  It was also special to have my husband and daughter helping on the evening and giving their support to this moment for me.