Tag Archives: following my heart

Where to from here?

Exhibition over and where to from here?  A whole mixture of thoughts, experiences and feelings post our exhibition.  Highs and lows.  Conversations to follow up, action items to be progressed but the big question, where to from here?  What am I to paint?  What is my next theme? And nothing is forthcoming, atleast not immediately, and so there has been a sense of despondency.  Added to that is the overwhelming thought of,  where will the energy come from to put together another large body of work?  (And the answer, when I listen quietly, one painting at a time.) 

I recognise the “controller” within me has been active, the part of me who likes to have things sorted, planned and mapped out, that wants to know.  Because without knowing, it’s pretty scarey and all the ‘what ifs’ arise. 

Yet despite the despondency, I keep moving, keep following my heart and trusting.  Whether I have a theme or not, and whether it’s right or not, I keep painting.  And in fact I haven’t stopped.  I know the day after the exhibition closing, there was a real sense of needing to get ‘back on the horse’ and I have done, and everyday since.  And what I am learning is not only about painting but about trusting things to work out.  Having a sense of direction but allowing for things to unfold.  Like a request that I have put out there in search of a portrait teacher to develop my skills.  And there is a theme emerging, as there have been others in the past. At this point the theme seems to be individuals in the landscape.  Yet guided by my heart to begin another series of trunks, today has been spent sculpting in the bark with some impasto and loving every moment of it.

Where to from here?  Trusting, allowing, and growing, one painting at a time.